Friday, November 6, 2009

Are we there yet?

I know, kind of cheesy title of my post, but that's how I feel right about now. I just really want to be DONEEEEEE with this cancer crap. I think I am feeling a little annoyed because it's Friday night, I'm 24, and I am just dying to go to a bar and have a giant vodka tonic. Ya, I said it - I want one. But nooo, I am sitting at home, well, writing on my blog that I started because I have cancer. I am actually really not in a bad mood or anything right now, just really wishing I was out having a good time somewhere really fun with fun people. Okay, enough of my rant. I actually had a good day today (which probably isn't being carried out the best verbally). My energy level is at a good level and I wasn't feeling cancer-ish. Praying the trend continues until next treatment on November 16th. Oh and p.s. - I had two chocolate chip cookies over the past two days AND I almost drank a Diet Coke, but gained self control and skipped the Diet Coke.

White blood cell status: Good to go. I jumped back up pretty high so three shots of Neupogen this week was sufficient. I will have another blood test next week to check the little guys.

Hair status: We are still okay. I got this really cool little sleeping cap that covers my head, so I don't wake up in the middle of the night checking my pillow for hair strands. Can you say paranoid? Yep, that describes my relationship with my hair right about now. ALTHOUGH, I have met quite a number of people lately that are well into treatments that have not lost their hair, just thinned out like crazy. Thinning we can handle...

Have a lovely weekend everyone. Pray, pray, pray for my scan on Wednesday. I'll be updating next week about the results. Ahh, so nervous, but hopeful.

Thursday, November 5, 2009

Session 4 / Day 4

I will keep this short, simple and sweet - I am doing okay (okay seems to be the trendy feeling this week if you haven't guessed that already). I have spent all day watching Lifetime movies, don't even judge me, because they are kind of addicting. I did just force myself to get up and go on a quick walk though, mostly because I was feeling too "bummy" just sitting on the couch all day and watching the sun start to fade away. I just got my third injection of Neupogen to boost up the white blood cells and then tomorrow morning my blood will be drawn to make sure the white count is up high enough to last me until next chemo session.

Oh and for the record, I went to sleep at 8pm last night. Look who's partying too hard these days!! aunt is coming over to stop by and say hello. Real Housewives of Orange County, Grey's Anatomy, and Private Practice is on tonight! MY, it's going to be a busy TV night, hoping I can manage to stay up past 8pm. :) Apparently, my 90th birthday came too soon!

Wednesday, November 4, 2009 do I feel?

So, I am going to keep this post short since I wrote 6 pages of a post yesterday. I am feeling okay. You know I don't really love the Wednesdays after treatment. It's usually the annoying, kind of hate having cancer day. I have decided to just try and sleep most of it away and so far I've been successful. I am eating normally, not really having the appetite problem I had the last cycle. I did indeed wash my hair this morning, that is a task that I dread these days. I heard the hair can come out in the shower, like ALL of it, and whomever is reading this - wherever you are - you'll definitely hear me scream if that happens. Okay, that's an exaggeration...probably just my neighbors will hear. No biggie!

Okay, that's all...I am off to go try to beat Rip Van Winkle's sleeping record. For those that don't know who Rip Van Winkle is, he slept for like twenty something years. I highly suggest googling (is googling a word?) him.

Happy Wednesday!

Tuesday, November 3, 2009

Session 4 / Day 2

So, it's day 2 of session number 4! I am feeling pretty good, which scares me for more than one reason. When chemo isn't running you down, you start to ponder whether or not the drugs are working. But then when you feel like absolute crap, you wish you didn't feel that way. So, basically it's a no-win situation with these drugs! I really have to think I feel decent because of my good nutrition and working out. When I say working out, I mean 20-30 minute walks - let's not get crazy and say I am going to spin class for an hour! I don't think I could make an hour of that level of intensity, but I will be back one day soon. So, since I have SO much time on my hands to calculate this, I figured out if I end chemo on February 22, 2010, I only have approximately 16 more weeks of this madness! It feels so crazy that time is truly flying by and I have been going through such traumatic experiences since the beginning of August. I am thankful, more than you know, that time is moving ever so quickly.

Hair update: Still have it. It's definitely thinning and I tend to find stray hairs all over my shirt and on my pillow, but have to thank my parents for giving me such thick Italian hair! :)

What am I doing today? Well, I am just lying around and watching movies. I am seriously the worst movie watcher, there are so many movies I haven't seen! It's kind of embarrassing, but I guess I can be thankful I now have the opportunity to watch the movies that are like ten years old. Also, I am going to have to get the shot of Neupogen to boost up my white blood cell count.

I am praying extra hard that my scan comes out clean next week. Please, please, take the time and do the same for me. You can put my hair prayers aside for the next week and just pray this stupid cancer is GONE. I am ready to be cured and live my life to the FULLEST and most importantly, be happy and carefree. Oh, that sounds so amazing.

To end this post, I will say that I am so INCREDIBLY thankful to have met the people I have met also facing this Hodgkin's Lymphoma battle. I feel like I have lived my life thinking I was exempt from getting cancer or anything horrible, but I wasn't and nobody is (sad, but true). By being a member of the Hodgkin's Lymphoma group on Facebook, I have been so privileged to meet so many people, just like myself, that are going through this. Many of them also have blogs, which gave me inspiration to start mine. I really feel that I have met so many new friends through this. So, please take the time praying for these people too. Their feelings and stories are so similar to mine and it really hits home for me and as much as I want to beat cancer, I want them to beat it too. And I have absolute faith we will all overcome this battle.

Monday, November 2, 2009

Chemo Session 4 / Day 1

Hello all! I have completed chemo session #4. I cannot believe time has flew by so quickly and I am done with this session! That is very exciting. I am feeling okay today, so far so good. Not feeling as tired as I was the last session. Last time I was passed out sleeping because I was so tired right after chemo. My iron levels have come back up and I am not anemic, well that is - this week. :) I do have to get the three shots of Neupogen this week, but that's okay. The shots will begin tomorrow and go through Thursday of this week.

I spoke to my doctor prior to chemotherapy starting and we discussed kind of what the future holds for me, as in treatments, testing, etc. As you know, I will be getting scanned on November 11th. This scan will tell the doctor how effective treatment has been to date, but most importantly how much of the cancer is gone (hoping for everything to be gone). Another huge component that this scan will tell is if the nodule in my lung is gone. It is really important that this nodule is gone or we may have to consider getting the biopsy done. Because if the nodule isn't being phased by the chemo, well, that means there is a chance it could be something else. I really really don't want to get the biopsy done because it's an invasive procedure and it scares me so badly. I'd have to spend time in the hospital after the procedure. Gross!

On a positive note, the doctor did a thorough examination on me and felt all my lymph nodes underneath my arms, my neck, my throat, my stomach, back, etc. and felt nothing enlarged! And that is huge! It means those little suckers are being attacked by the chemo. :)

Well, that is all of the update I have now, but I will continue to write this week on my progress.

Please PRAY as much as you can about the good results my scan will bring next week.

Love & thanks for the support.