Saturday, September 26, 2009

And the hair is...

My friend Jackie (she is a hair stylist) cutting it off...
The end result! My hair and I thank you Jac!

So, here is the end result. Jackie cut quite a bit should have seen the hair on the floor. Hopefully, chemo won't take the best out of this and this will be my new hairstyle for a while!

A new day...

Yep, today is a new day and one day closer to the end of this journey. I am feeling pretty good today, I would say about 85% back to normal. I have been battling with the nausea the past two days because I am trying to avoid taking a pill to prevent it if I don't have to. So, the goal today is to get through the day without the pill. So far, so good. Again, it's all a mental thing. The minute I start to think about getting sick - guess who feels sick?

I've been telling my friends that ask how I am feeling (p.s. you can ask me how I am feeling now) that chemotherapy feels like a horrible hangover that greasy food from Burger King can't heal.

I found myself on google this morning looking for tips to prevent hair loss. Scalp cooling came up, but that's about it. A lot of websites did recommend cutting your hair short, not only because it's less traumatic, but because it's easier on the hair follicles.

So far the only side effect that has hit me is the nausea. Many people say they suffer from insomnia, but I haven't. I get at least 8-9 hours every night.

I pray every single day, multiple times per day, that this chemotherapy is working and that I can tolerate the side effects. I do believe that God will only hand me as much as he knows that I am capable of handling.

Well, that's all for now. I'm looking forward to getting my haircut today! :)

Have a nice weekend everyone.

Thursday, September 24, 2009

Chemo Session #1 / Day #4

Lucky for me, today is a MUCH better day than yesterday. I had suspected Day #3 to be the worst and it sure lived up to that role. I woke up this morning and didn't necessarily feel fantastic, but I do feel better and brighter! I still am obsessed that my hair is falling out every minute, I do self tests in the morning and basically pull on my hair. A couple strands here and there lead me to believe it's happening. But again, is that my mind playing tricks on me? Probably. To alleviate the hair drama, I have decided that I am going to get a haircut this weekend and cut it above my shoulders. For those that know me well do know that I have pretty much always loved short hair. Ironically, prior to diagnosis, I was trying to grow my hair out to see what it would look like. I have pretty thick hair and it grows really fast so I wasn't having any trouble accomplishing that goal. Either way, I am going to have it cut and go from there. A short head of hair will be far less traumatic to lose, if lost. I have gone on a 20 minute walk this morning with my mom and am now relaxing watching...yep, you guessed it - Gossip Girl...Season 2 now! Thank you God for getting me through these past three days and thank you all for the encouragement and strength you have sent me, don't stop - this was just our first hurdle.

**I posted some pictures that were taken during my first treatment under Chemo Sesh 1 Completed. I made everyone pose with me, but somehow my sister escaped the photo shoot. Oh and don't worry I already submitted them to America's Next Top Model. :)

Wednesday, September 23, 2009

Chemo Session #1 / Day #3

So it's day three after my first chemotherapy session. Kind of feeling "blah" and feeling a bit down. I feel in shock for some reason - not sure why today, but it's happening. I just cannot believe I am going through this and feel like asking "why me?" It's not even the sickness from the chemotherapy that gets you down, it's the mental part that wants to mess with you. The sickness, well, so far, has been tolerable BUT your mind likes to play with you and likes you to believe you are not doing well. So that is what I am struggling with today. I am going to get out of the house for a little with my mom. We have been going on walks every night, even if it's just for ten minutes (which is all I could do last night). All in all, I am hanging in there, just a bit of a struggle. Sorry if I am not returning phone calls or texts right now, just not feeling in the mood to talk much today. Guess it's just "one of those days"

Yep, this is a depressing blog day. Sorry.

Tuesday, September 22, 2009

Chemo Session #1 / Day #2

Okay, so it is day #2. I am feeling "just okay" - not great, but not too bad. I am convinced I am already losing hair though, but I may just be feeling like I am. Having a really difficult time distinguishing between what is real and what my mind is trying to do to me. I am just taking it easy today and watching Gossip Girl. Yes, I'm addicted, thanks to my sister. I am going to need season 2 by tomorrow. I have, so far, contained the nausea through pills and drinking a ton of ginger ale and ginger tea. So far, my appetite is moderate. I am eating small portions and aiming for 5 times per day. As long as I can keep well nourished through those meals, I should be okay. It is really important I continue to do so. I did notice my chest turned a bit red this morning, but apparently that is from some of the steroids you are given in the pre-meds of chemo. Lucky me. I am fortunate to be with my parents and as expected, they are doing a wonderful job at ensuring I am well nourished and comfortable. My sister left this morning, but she will be returning for my next treatment, with my brother-in-law. Please continue to pray that this chemotherapy is working and getting the bad cells out of my body while trying to preserve some good ones. We don't want to kill all the good ones too. All anyone can do for me is pray. I am greatly appreciated for those that take the time to do that. And while you are at it, pray for others, besides myself, that are experiencing this and those that have overcome it. That's greatly important. Thanks everyone...with love.

Monday, September 21, 2009

Chemo Sesh #1 is COMPLETE

Me and my mom! (above)
My aunt and I (above)
Dad and I (above)

I have completed my first chemotherapy session, it's official. It started at 8a.m. and ended around 11a.m. My mom, dad, sister, and aunt were there. My sister and I watched one episode of Gossip Girl. (Since I will be home all week with not much of an agenda, getting into the show Gossip Girl has now become the agenda). I did make everyone take pictures with me today, but I will post those as soon as I can, so you all can have a visual. I am feeling okay, but the next two weeks are a trial run because I will need to see how I feel each day, as it may fluctuate. Okay, that's all for now...I just wanted to let everyone know I was okay and survived the first day of chemo.

Dear stupid cancer,

I hope you are dying as I type this note to you.

With Love,

Sunday, September 20, 2009

Last night before the big week ahead!

Wanted to share a few pictures of the last night before my fun week starts! My friends Jen, Dana, and well Korie lives with me were over. We thought it'd be funny to put on the scarves I purchased (in the event I lose my hair). Korie (second from left) decided to put some gangster flavor into my scarf. So unless I plan to model Tupac or Biggy, I won't be gangster-fying mine. I don't even know if those were good gangster examples, whatever, hope my point is made clear! My sister is the fabulous photographer! :)