Thursday, September 10, 2009

The good with the bad...

So I had a super frustrating morning...I found out that my eggs have not fully matured yet and won't be ready to be removed until sometime early next week. Guess what this means...yep, chemo is delayed AGAIN. Naturally (and possibly due to my hormones raging) I cried....twice. I am just anxious to start treatment because the sooner I start the sooner I will be done. And I decided I won't be saying a start date for chemo because I think I jinx myself when I do. So one day you will visit my blog and find out I started! Good plan, huh? I thought so. You probably notice I posted a bunch of pictures onto my blog. I decided to spice up the page a little bit and make it a bit more entertaining. I visited other blogs, as I have been so fortunate to meet a lot of young people with the same disease I have...anyways, their blogs are so amazing and colorful and contain all these pictures. I'm like wow, my blog sucks. So I spiced it up and am very pleased with the outcome. I'll continue to do so as I find some fun pictures. This weekend I have a friend coming in from Texas so I am excited to see her and will also be seeing some friends tomorrow night. I get really excited to see people, but then sometimes get sad at some point in the evening because I watch everyone live their carefree life and I'm like "wow, that isn't going to be for a while." Moral of the story is I get really sad (oh gosh, the hormones will make that worse, I just realized that) and I go home. But I am going to try not to be Debbie Downer tomorrow. Over the past few days, I have heard some traumatic stories regarding other peoples lives, some of which do not even have cancer - just have had something traumatizing happen to them. Anyways, I have to say this again.....if you are healthy, you have it all. If I can live by anything, it will be that one statement. Health really is everything and nobody should take it for granted. Take the time each day and recognize that. I hate to be the "preacher" but it's so true. If everyone in this world had cancer or something life changing happen to them, we'd for sure live in a different world. Two months ago I was cussing everyone and their mother out for cutting me off on the freeway - chances are that you won't catch me wasting two seconds of my time being angry about that. Okay, that's all for now. Please keep the prayers coming in!!

Monday, September 7, 2009

One more thing...

This is what happens when I hibernate, I talk way too much.

I wanted to say one more thing, I do promise to start posting some pictures once I start chemo! I am going to have one of my family members take a picture of me during every treatment and I suppose I'll post them so you guys can all see what it looks like (the port, the special meds, etc. etc.). I can't promise that I will look super hot, but I can promise I'll be wearing cute sweats and when it gets cold, I might even bring out some cute red boots to wear to treatment.

Okay, I promise...that's all for now!

Sad the weekend is over!

The weekend went by too quickly! It's weird though, I used to look forward to the weekends because it was my time to run fun errands, hang out at my parents house, and see my friends! But now, the weekends are just more days of the week. Granted I still hang out at my parents house and do get to see some of my friends...but obviously it's just not the same. My errands consist of finding more healthy and organic foods to eat at Whole Foods and finding hypo-allergenic products for my skin and hair! Whole Foods is so amazing though, they seriously have the best stuff ever. I did actually go to the mall today and haven't been there in a while. But I kept thinking in the back of my head, why would I buy cute clothes right now, all I want is pajamas?! My parents yell at me when I make comments like that because they tell me I am not spending the next 6 months in my pajamas. Okay, and nobody get upset...but I did buy some scarves online for my hair, in the event that I lose it. BUT they are so cute that I may even wear them with my real hair! After all, it wasn't so negative that I made the purchase. Also, I can't remember if I blogged about this in the past, but there is this guy named Ethan Zohn, he won Survivor one season. I'm not a Survivor fan so I don't know which season, but if you know my brother-in-law, ask him...he'll know :) Anyways, he was actually diagnosed with Hodgkin's sometime around April 2009 and followed him during the process and they did video blogs. The videos are incredible because he actually has gone through a lot of the same stuff as I already have (such as scans and he has a port). It even shows him receiving chemo one time. I have suggested a few of my friends to check it out, but not sure if they have yet. You can go to YouTube or - just type in his name. I really think it would give people a better perspective and visual as to what I am going through. And he is incredibly optimistic, oh and kind of hot! :) He is actually done with treatment for the time being, he is waiting on scans to come back. Gosh, do I sound like such a stalker! I'm not, I swear, he is just interesting and helpful to me and not so bad to look at. haha! Back to the moral of the story, he had a link on his website to this Australian Lymphoma Network and I checked it out and am so thankful I did! I met three young girls via e-mail, like myself, that had Hodgkin's! Two of which are in remission and one is finishing her treatment. They have provided me with such good information and they are so nice! Talking to them definitely lifted my spirits this weekend! These girls from Australia went through the exact same things so it's inspirational to see how they dealt with it and how I can apply it to my personal life. Yes, of course I have a wonderful support system, but nobody has gone through what I am going through. And it becomes really hard when you talk to others because all you want to say is "you have no idea." But that's not very nice of me, so I try to refrain from saying that. I'm not asking for an Emmy because I have cancer or asking for special treatment, I am just asking people to be considerate of my feelings. Okay this blog was kind of long. If I did win an Emmy, my acceptance speech would just be outrageously long. I will end my speech for tonight by starting a countdown to the days I start chemo...7 days!! Who wants to party? Shots of immunity booster on me! Love & goodnight.