Going a bit crazyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!

So, I am going a bit crazy...too many days stuck in my house and doing nothing, but watching movies/TV. I just feel so gross sitting in my house and not being active outside. I kind of want to get on the treadmill and get my cardio on, but I'm scared I'll be overexerting myself...I mean, it is only four days after treatment. Being lazy doesn't really look good on me! :) My parents dropped off my dog, Lucie, to stay the night with me last night and keep me some company...so that was fun. Although, she did whine quite a bit throughout the night!

I suppose I will work on some school stuff today - I have to write a paper by next weekend. It's only 6 pages so it shouldn't be that rough! And maybe that will make me feel a bit better knowing that I was productive in some way!

Send lots of strength my way...mostly to survive the mental aspect of being lazy. Have a good Saturday everyone! :)

Session #10 / Day #3

Day 3...hmm, usually my worst of the days after treatment, but that doesn't seem to be the trend anymore. Sadly, I think my body is becoming more immune to the chemotherapy and is not phased by it much anymore. Don't get me wrong, it's not that I feel I can go run 5 miles right now, but I also don't feel incredibly sick either. With that being said, I still take it easy for the first 4 days after chemo because I don't want it to sneak up on me and make me sick. Remember, I am in control - not the stupid chemo or cancer! I actually am also not staying at my parents house for the week after treatment anymore, I return home now on day #2. Although it is incredibly nice to be taken care of by my parents, it's also nice to be back in my own bed. :)

Today, I am just going to be sitting at home, being a bum - but my aunt is going to bring me lunch...PF Changs...my favorite!!! And my friend, Jackie, is going to come visit me this afternoon too! :)

I haven't given a hair update in some time...I still have my hair (shockingly)! I don't have a whole lot of hair left, but I still have it. I am definitely not losing it as rapidly as I was about 3 months ago! And the areas where I did lose a lot of hair, it's growing back already! I feel like a little porcupine. I CANT WAIT UNTIL IT"S LONG ENOUGH TO GET EXTENSIONS!!! But don't get me wrong...I will quite frankly just be happy to be alive still, the hair is just an added benefit!

On Monday, February 1st - Ethan Zohn (I have referenced him many times, he is the individual who won a season of Survivor...got diagnosed with Hodgkins a while ago) - he will be on the show "The Doctors" discussing his stem cell transplant and his experience with Hodgkins. He is now in remission and I thought it'd be interesting to watch because he's been such an inspiration to me throughout this! And for the ladies, he's not so bad to look at either! :)

One last thing...I wanted to extend my love to the Patterson/Glyer family who lost a special person yesterday, Helen Glyer. May God Bless Helen!

Typical Thursday!

I title this entry, "Typical Thursday" because, well, it's typical so far. I woke up around 3:30am and began to watch movies with my sidekick beagle, Lucie. She even woke up when I woke up, I think to make sure everything was okay. Everything was okay, it's just the steroids that have made me turn into quite the night owl. Wait, do night owls stay awake at night? I've just confused myself. You get the point though, right? :) I just took my anti-nausea pill about an hour ago - my dad made me some eggs and I accompanied those with a nice bowl of Raisin Bran. It is so important to continue to eat, even if you're not hungry because of the chemotherapy. Just trust me! For dinner last night, my mom made the most delicious pasta bolognese with my favorite, grass fed meat! I did wake up quite red again this morning, also because of the steroids. You may wonder why I have the steroids if it does these horrible things to me - well, they also are a bit of a life saver because it alleviates me from feeling so sick. I've come to find out that cancer is a no-win situation...PERIOD.

I take the anti-nausea drugs religiously for 3-4 days after treatment, but when you take the anti-nausea drugs, well, they can make you constipated. Yes, I said it. Trust me it's more embarrassing to feel it than to say it out loud. Especially when I have to go to the pharmacy and buy some over-the-counter medications to help alleviate it. I always try to throw in a fun magazine or some weird lip gloss so I don't feel uncomfortable getting rung up at the register. And then I want to tell the cashier that they aren't mine and its for my grandma or something, haha! Sadly, my grandma passed away when I was 10, but I'm sure she wouldn't mind me saying the pills are for her...thanks grandma. :)

I have to get the three consecutive shots of Neupogen to make sure my white blood cells stay high so I don't get some outrageous infection...well, they can cause bone aches. I never got bone aches until last week...and I have to take Tylenol to alleviate those.

So, just when you think the toxic chemotherapy isn't enough - I have to take about 3 other pills daily for about a week afterwards. And I really don't like to pump my body with this extra pill stuff, but hey, I have to do what I have to do.

Okay, I think that is enough rant for today. I kind of was hoping to enlighten everyone with a funny story, but I think I'm out of jokes today. Maybe tomorrow? :)

PS...because my countdown is disabled on my blog unless you manually type in a date yourself...it says 27 days left. Just thought I'd tell you something positive so I don't sound like a complete Debbie Downer today!!!

#10 - End of 5th cycle!

The chemo chair and I meet for the 10th time today - this is the end of my 5th cycle! Which means that next time I begin my 6th and final cycle! Yay! I began my morning driving to my parents house listening to "Turn my swag on" by Soulja Boy. It kind of got me pumped about getting chemo, haha, but I would have rather it pumped me up about going out somewhere fun! It is so funny how I get the worst anxiety ever to get chemo, yet every single time I sit in this stupid chair - its never that bad. And what's even funnier is that I define the word bad so differently. Nothing will ever be as bad as this cancer experience. No heartbreak, no traffic jam, no disappointment will ever make me feel as bad as it used to. As long as I'm breathing and am cancer free - I'm ready to take on whatever God hands me, and I will do my best to keep smiling.

My doctor told me I had chemo brain this morning because I asked him why I don't get PET scans as frequently as other people I have met do. His response was simply because I had a complete response in the last one and its not necessary. I then asked him what's the percentage it won't come back, in which he told me he has already told me and I have chemo brain (haha). Its about a 90% chance it won't come back. I would prefer 100% chance but hey, I suppose I will gladly accept the 90%.

My white blood cell count went up from Monday - it was about 3000 and today it went up to 4800. I think my white cells started to think they could return to normal, but little do they know Pac-Man (chemo) is going to eat them all so they better run as quick as they can. I do need my white cells high enough to get chemo though so its a good thing they increased!

Okay, that's all for now! Prayers are needed to get me through this week!

One month left!

Oh ya, that's right - ONE MONTH LEFT!!!! For those of you that don't know - today is January 24, 2010 and I will be DONE with chemo on February 24, 2010. My dad is so funny, he called me this morning and said, "Laur, your mother and I went to the grocery store last night and I bought milk and I told her that my milk expires after you are done with chemo." It was pretty funny - good one, Dad. I am beyond ecstatic to be done with chemotherapy. I just pray, pray, pray that this STUPID cancer never comes back again. I despise cancer - ya I said it - despise. I promised to myself that no matter how frustrated I would get that I would never say a bad word on my blog (for those that know me, I sometimes have quite the potty mouth). My 2010 resolution was to kill cancer and to well, stop cussing. So far, I've killed cancer. Back to what I was saying, I promised to never say a bad word on the blog - so I'll just use the first letter of the word I want to use - F cancer. F cancer for coming into my life and F cancer for coming into other peoples lives. F cancer for making women lose their hair and feel like aliens. F cancer for making relationships that much harder. And most of all F cancer for making people feel like crap. That's all... Cheers friends, Lauren can OFFICIALLY see that light at the end of the tunnel and boy am I running as fast as I possibly can to it.

It's Mondayyyy....

I have arrived home safely from California. I must say that the weather was absolutely terrible on the drive home, lucky for me - Britt was driving and she did an excellent job getting us through the storm! If it were me driving, I probably would have freaked out and had to pull over. I kind of have to blame my terrible eyesight for that. No, I don't wear my glasses like I should and no, I don't wear contacts. How do I see, you ask? I don't really. :) I can see everything up close, but if Brad Pitt were 20 feet away, I would easily confuse him with my dad. haha! (Dad, don't take any offense to that) Anyways, my weekend was very relaxing! I spent most of the time on the couch watching TV - but hey, I'm not complaining. We did manage to get out of the house daily to go on a walk. I got an AWFUL headache on Saturday night, but my brother-in-law played nurse very well and was very accommodating. I blame myself for the headache because I pretty much dehydrated myself. I have this weird thing on chemo weeks that I don't like to drink anything. I have no explanation as to why, but drinking stuff repulses me. I literally force myself to drink water. Anyways, I ended up getting a horrible headache and didn't sleep well Saturday night. Then yesterday, I think I may have overexerted myself on a walk and kind of got a bit nauseous. As I sat there and felt sorry for myself being nauseous and was about to put my pajamas on at 3:00 in the afternoon - I had a change of attitude. I decided that I was NOT going to let the chemo control my body and I was going to control the chemo. Ya, that's right...you little chemo you.

Anyways, it's Monday - I am off from work today and have to go run some errands. Whole Foods called me and said they needed me to go spend $100 on groceries today. I am feeling better though and the girls are coming over tonight to watch The Bachelor! Woooo!

I probably won't post much this week, so I hope everyone has a wonderful week...keep me in your prayers!

Also, I may be purchasing a puppy after chemo is done. It's kind of my end of chemo / birthday present! I bonded with my sister and brother-in-law's maltese, Marshall...and now I want one. My parents aren't too thrilled because let's just say that last time I bought a dog, they had an addition to their family. I was 18....come on, give me a break. :)

Here's a picture of Marshall...how cute is he!!!!!!

Chemo 9 / Day 4

Yay for day 4! I am feeling pretty good today and have slept approximately 20 hours in the past two days! I usually always sleep when I come to California - not sure what it is, but I think it's because I feel I can completely relax and shut out all the outside stresses in my life. I ended up going to sleep at 8:00p.m. last night and woke up around 7:30a.m. this morning. Definitely a good nights sleep! I then also took a nap with my sister this afternoon. We are such sleepy heads. Still kind of taking it easy - probably going to take Marshall (their dog) for a walk later. My brother-in-law is watching football and I don't really understand anything about football. I just told my sister that when I was a cheerleader, I ran to the touchdown line when the other girls ran....haha! Heading home from Cali. on Monday and I'll return to work on Tuesday! I'll keep you posted on anything fun and exciting that may occur! Happy Saturday....