Better day!

Today is much better than last night. I found out this morning that my baby little eggs are ready to go! My procedure is on Thursday and I can't wait to be done with this hurdle. I am a little sad though because this means tomorrow will be my last day at work until I return on September 28th and I truly love being at work. My co-workers provide such a comforting and loving environment for me and I can honestly say I like being there. I've decided to not get sad about not being at work, I am going to think of chemo weeks as my mini vacation. Where should I say I am going on my mini vacation - Fiji, Bora Bora? Come on, think of something fun for me. Besides my good news, I still can't get Ethan's situation out of my mind, I am feeling a little better. One of my co-workers told me either last week or two weeks ago that I had too much of a "bleeding heart" for people and it wasn't good for me because it obviously makes me upset frequently. And I thought about what she said and I kind of do and it's probably not always healthy. Whether it be that homeless person on the street or that elderly person sitting at a restaurant by themselves, my heart literally aches because I hate to think people are alone. What I have come to realize is that you can feel alone even if you are surrounded by 30 family and friends telling you they love you. So those people that appear to be alone could be the happiest they have ever been. Moral of the story is that I feel upset and saddened over tragic cancer stories because I picture that being me and I literally put myself in their shoes. But at the same time, I don't understand their situation to the fullest and should not be so quick to judge others or feel sorry for someone, when maybe they are happy. And Ethan may be in a horrible situation, but could be feeling so good. So, when my co-worker told me that I had too much of a bleeding heart, she didn't intend for me to start being cold to people or to not care, but she simply taught me that it may not be necessary. And I think I realized that today.

I've said this before, but I'll say it again and again. I want everyone to know who takes the time to read my blog that I am so appreciative you take the time out of your day to do so. And for those of you who send me e-mails, text messages, phone calls, cards, etc. - thank you. I know that sometimes people may look at me and feel "poor Lauren" but those people have no idea how much love and support I am receiving through this and how "not alone" I am. So don't feel sorry for me, feel happy that this has happened to me and I am going to get through this alive and be a better person in the end. To end on this note, Ethan had mentioned in one of his videos that God may have given him this stupid disease to inspire people after he was cured and I am going to agree with him that it may very well be my job as well - to inspire others.